i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
