I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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