we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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