if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
