I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
