So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
