when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I would ride that face into the sunset
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize