just tell him i said nine months
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
i now understand why vodka
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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