I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just want nice things and good sex
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
