ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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