I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
