I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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