matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize