I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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