How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He better not be in your backpack
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
