wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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