Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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