I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
