i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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