he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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