I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
