Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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