ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i wish my penis had a tongue
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
