you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
