Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
