i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You smell like stripper and shame
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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