Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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