I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
