id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
