you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
jump out the window naked night went bad
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
