I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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