I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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