I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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