just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
