it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I did not marry a roomba.
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