My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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