We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
