matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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