I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
