I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
