it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
