You made me cry and you don't even care
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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