I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
