I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
