I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize