Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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