so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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