If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
