we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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