This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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