i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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