Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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