Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
