i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
