Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
