After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
