Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
She needs sedatives and a leash
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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