You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
