if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
