haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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