youre lurking in front of me
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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