this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
