everyone is single if you try hard enough
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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