But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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